IVY LEE

today is a farked up day. texted boss yesterday night. ask what task he have for me tmr. which is today. he say do signage and brochure. go to office in the4 afternoon to show him.
then i asked. what signage are you looking at? directional sign location sig or educational sign?or you just want the layout?
brochure? the layout too? i dont think i have the ability to do the content. i said.
then.. no reply. 9pm i texted him again the same msg. no reply.

i didnt sleep well. many things went through my head. i think im trying too hard. i like the people there at nparks. i think they're very nice. only problem. no balls. everything they do they must cover their ass first. i'm damn pissed. they never fight for the right. just make sure they never offend anyone and get their pay. the system is damn farked up. all about emailing and bossing people around. so what if you're the head when you got no leadership skills? so what if you get your 2000 pay when you didnt contribute anything to nature? being at nparks. national parks board! you care more about yourself more than nature? why are those people there?i thought they're supposed to conserve? nevermind. not talk about that. just they dont have the mindset to step up and improve. everyone's being very defensive here.

talk about my work scope.
i am an environment design student. i'm assigned logo, tee shirt, signage, brochures. basically the whole branding thingy. i thought it was okay. it sounds cool at first. first thing i ask. what kind of style they wanna give the public? colour? any idea of what you want? NOTHING. you're the designer. we trust you taste. you just come out with a few for us to choose from. okay. i did. i did more than a few. i did more than 20 different styles for them. they short listed. people who know me and the way i work i bet they would know that i'm very much a manual queen and i dont quite know or like to use photoshop and stuff. yet i'm doing this logo thingy everyday. using photoshop. with my very little knowledge on the software. alright. i shall carry on..then i developed. at one point of time i have to drop the logo thingy as the CEO dislike the idea of having too many logo under nparks. okay i expected that. but due to many reasons, the logo is on again. i carry on and developed it. after i got a finalized one. that i'm very satisfied with, my bossed called me. change this and that. alright. basically change the whole idea. i'm damn pissed. since you know what you want, cant you tell me from the start? i mean it'll save me hell lots of time thinking and brainstorming despite the fact that i have no background knowledge at all.

i started off with a design without brief. i think thats the worst a designer can get i guess. key word: signage. and i've got to do it. with what. how? thats my problem. how does that sound to you? All I need is critical thoughts. I need to be directed and guided. Can I get a pat on my shoulder when I’m doing good and please shoot my design all you want. That’s how I can improve.

I got to thank franca so much for her support and being there to understand my problem and situation. Thanks.

There’s just many things going on in my head. hope that i'll be better tomorrow.