IVY LEE

i think i did it all wrong. i was always joking around and no one ever know if i was really serious. yes. i do hate shihui for being her. i do hate yalam for changing me. blurring my future and and my BFF. i couldnt forgive. but i was really sorry. cause i could not accept. i could not accept what huijie did. i could not accept that. i was angry. i sat down at my desk thinking. was that worth it?
i once said that graduation was one of the most emotional part of my life. i hate the feeling of people having to leave me. though i know some are leaving for the good. for their future. but i just dun like it. cant everone stay by me? there'll be people who i'll have to dislike in my life. not because they're bitch shit or whatever. its simple because we think differently. i think because of me being daring and bold enough to tell the world my thoughts. i've giving the courage for people who dislike the person i dislike to further dislike them. thats when the hatred comes. when we keeps stirring.

i wasnt comparing. i just hope that we can be true friends, enjoy having one another with us. without bitching. cause it hurts. i know i sucks. i'm totally being ridiculious. but i just don't want people around me to hate this people just because i hate them.

i enjoy being with candice, grace, sheryl, lydia and stephanie.

but once in a while i'll still miss edison, seng hwee, shihui and huijie. no matter what they once play an important part in my poly life. i know you might think i am comparing or wanting to turn back. but i'd say. i would turn back to them unless they're really worth me. worth me for crying for them. worry if they're okay. but i still dont see that now. it seems like you guys are enjoying. but nevermind.i still have candice grace sheryl lydia and steph.

did anyone ever understand what i meant and thought?